Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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