the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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