38 yer olds are good kisserssss
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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