We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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