I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
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