So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
