and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
