His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
