trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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