It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
