I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
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