you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
