nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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