this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
