I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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