There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
