if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
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