lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
