she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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