never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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