white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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