I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
