if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Randomize
