i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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