you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
