Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
