STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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