oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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