Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
im on a boat
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