he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
