well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You can't special order awesome
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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