let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
did i just pee glitter
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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