You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
