Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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