oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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