do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
