my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
