I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
