If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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