id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize