It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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