I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
