From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dignity is for republicans.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
