He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
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It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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