Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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