you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
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