Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
