his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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