Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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