she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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