I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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