I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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