i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just had sex on a roof
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
