So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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