I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
