you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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