oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
