i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize