I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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