So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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