yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
